Rant #1: Spongebob supporting the gay agenda

Okay y'all, this has got to stop. Cleaning supplies used to be good and decent--they represented America! And the sponge was corrupted by those tree-killing baby-hugging liberals (or does it go the other way?). It was used to prevent innocent babies from being born! We all know that every sperm is sacred--every little swimmer it steered by the SOUL of an infant; and infant who gets trapped in the tangles of the sponge, never to be conceived!

And now? Now! A sponge is supporting those homersexuals, the ones who are ruining the educational system and single-handedly causing marriage licenses to burst into flame by their very presence! And those godless animators are using the evil sponge to promote their agenda of sin! I bet they've been influenced by the Japanese devils. Everyone knows they glorify pornography over there--some of it involves gays, too!

I say this stops today! Reject the spawn of Satan, the icon of youthful seduction! DOWN WITH SPONGEBOB!

This tongue-in-cheek rant was written for fadingembers