snow on the sahara

No, I'm not actually going to die, I'm just doing that "to name it is to claim it" special kind of hypochrondria where I make jokes and then it never happens.

So I can handle sore throats. No big. I really dislike feeling like there's food or something stuck in my throat, which I've kinda felt since Wednesday, with the exceptions of when the sore throat blossomed and that pain obscured the funky feeling. It's annoying as shit to constantly feel like I have to swallow to get something down, except I can't.

If it's still there at the end of this week, I'll go to the doctor (...ugh, now I need to look for my insurance card) but does anyone want to reassure me that it's not A) a bone B) amazingly fast-growing cancer that will choke me by Tuesday? Mob has suggested maybe I ate something that nicked the lining of my throat and this is the healing process and whatever passes for a scab. Maybe. Really not liking this.

Took a sick day today. Might take a sick day tomorrow! Karen and Summer from work both offered to bring me stuffs, and Summer actually did (chicken soup and OJ) so I feel all loved. May take a sick day tomorrow, but I doubt this'll go to three. Spent the day napping on and off and playing Cooking Mama and Bliich (as dubbed by Casey.) Despite the fact that I got up at 1 PM, I'm knackered, so more sleep now!

I still have a slight crater in my head (with a cut around the edge where it ripped) AND I have a cold with niagara-levels of snoting coming out of my nose (P.S. TMI).

Oh yeah. Tomorrow's gonna rock.

Dear body,

Fuck off. You are not allowed to get sick now, okay? Dammit! Pay attention.

Urgh. I have no specific symptoms right now but I'm filled with that overall "bleh, feels like crap" sensation.

I feel vomitrocious.

One the phone with my mom:

Me: *mentions that she has doctor's appointment Friday for shoulder pain*
Mom: Blah blah blah I hope this doesn't scare you but a third kid who once lived in our old neighborhood has cancer, bone this time instead of leukemia. Not to scare you or anything!
Me: WHY NO THAT DOESN'T SCARE ME A BIT WHY WOULD IT.

Yeah, it's most likely tendinitis. But still!

Okay, I TOOK the antibiotics, WHY am I not better? This tuberculosis shit better cut the FUCK out SOON or I will flail ineffectively do...something.

Rar.

I can be cheered up with fic, fyi.

Though I only needed one--I am root canaled and pain-free! And with an unneeded prescription for Dervoset or something. Anyone want it? ;)

I'd like to say that root canals are nowhere near as bad as my imagination and pictures on Google image search led me to believe. I'd like to say that, but it'd be a lie--OH GOD, THE PAIN. WILL IT NEVER END?

Not really. The root canal itself was fine--I knew the novocaine was working when Dr. Foster, God bless his comforting, not-laughing-at-me-bringing-my-mom-along self (she read Harry Potter in the corner), asked if I could feel "this" and I was like, feel what? But getting the novocaine in? Holy shit, I didn't KNOW needles could go that far into the gums. I swore they were going to poke out the other side. I practically broke my own hands clenching them together. Wasn't expecting three injections, either. I was proud of myself, though--I didn't whimper once. Apparently the upper jaw injections are worse than the lower, so...uh...lucky me, I guess, it can't get worse if I ever have to have another one.

Notable exchanges:

Me: *coughs*
Dr. Foster: Oh, sorry about the smoke there.
Me: HMMURGH? [translation: SMOKE?]

Dr. Foster [to assistant]: See, it's almost totally necrotic.
Me: [thinking] What a great band name.

The smell of enamel being ground into powder as the drill goes in is really, really disgusting.

I kept my eyes closed for most of the time--mostly out of boredom, as I really couldn't see anything anyway, though they provided me with stylin' green sunglasses thingies since I'd be facing the overhead light for so long--but when I opened them at one point, I saw a veritable pincushion of drills. Eek.

So today I'm all good and I have my very first filling. (That's the irony of this whole thing--I take good care of my teeth. They are naturally healthy teeth. I have never had a cavity or anything necessitating dental work beyond check-ups, other than needing braces.) And I'm kind of proud of having a vampire tooth.

And now for a truly uninteresting Angie's Dog anecdote. Last night we were watching CSI or something when we hear this bang, and then whimpering that sounds like Spencer is inside the house. "WTF?" say I. Turns out someone was setting off firecrackers outside and Spencer, being terrified if loud noises like firecrackers and thunder, leaned his front paws against the house and poked out the cardboard panel that we had taped in the window beside the A/C unit to keep bugs out. (Window is wider than the unit.) It was a "had to be there" moment, but I must say I found him whimpering and poking his head inside quite hysterical. We took a picture. We are bad Dog Parents, humiliating our baby. So he came in and slept with me, and it was all good until his panting beside my head woke me up at 5 and 7 in the morning. Shut up, dog, I will give you attention AFTER I'm awake.

Today is the 4th of July. I don't really have it in me to write a long, introspective post on what the freedom my country offers means to me (for the record, I appreciate it) so I'll just say this: I'm glad that I have the right to vote Dubya's ass out of office come election time.

From an e I just sent:

"I'm seriously feeling like I am on speed right now. It's amazing I
can type as coherently as I am because it does not reflect what is in my
brain. If this is what getting high is like, I don't think I like it. I
feel so out of control. Slightly distanced from everything, kinda numb, but
my brain is shooting in a thousand different directions at a thousand miles
right now. wow. Remember that scene from the disney version of dumbo, with
all the pink elephants and hallucinatory shit going on? that's kind of what
I feel like now. so. weird."

Damn. I stopped taking my prescription meds in favor of Tylenol after two doses because of nausea, but the pain was enough that today I went back on them and wow. Codeine. Is interesting.

Wanna barf...oof...note to self...ONE SCOOP OF ICE CREAM IS PLENTY.