Rant 2.0

Okay, I meant to post this last night, but my ISP was having issues. Here it is:

"Subject: Okay, this is almost funny now...

Friend X is getting cute. She responded to a pissy lj post that I wrote like two months ago:

*sigh* Someone remind me to get off this stupid fuckng messageboard. I'm trying to bow out gracefully without destroying a friendship (yeah, right, with someone I don't even like) but right now it only inspired rage in me. It's amazing how so much arrogance, ignorance, and conceit can be packed into so few shells. CBB, kiss my ass.
Their reply was:
Subject:
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.....I love you too Jaina.


What. EVER. Apparently I have the "maturity of an eight year old" anyway, and neither Val nor I dealt with being away from home for the first time like she did. (And my response to that is "Gosh, fucking your friends over and acting like a spoiled brat is a good response? Okay!") I don't know why I'm surprised. It's the same old same old. None of her friend problems have anything to do with her behavior, it's just us and our immaturity. Snort. At least I'm honest. At least, if she asked me how I truly felt, I would tell her. I don't go skulking around proclaiming happy happy fun time and then bitching about her immaturity behind her back. (Granted, Val and I had some bitch sessions back in the day, but the purpose was to get it out of our systems so we wouldn't get fed up and ditch her)

Gah. I'm getting the shakes from this. Well, partly because it's cold. Can someone reassure me that I am not the demon that she thinks I am? Because...I know myself, but sometimes I just need to hear it...

Why can't she let this go? I don't hate her, I'm not interested in stirring up bad feelings, I don't want to make running into each other next year any more difficult. I want to leave the past behind me. Why can't she?"

Rest assured, I am feeling *much* better today. But a good rant needs airing, so I'm posting anyway.

Heh

I had a long, insightful post planned since this morning, but the last couple hours of babbling on the phone (actually, I'm *still* on the phone) have destroyed that idea.

Just...I made a promise to myself last night, and reaffirmed it this morning. (So glad I went to church, it really made me feel better about things. And myself.) Most of this I have been doing, but it's worth it to recommit myself.

I will live for the present and the future, and leave the past where it belongs. I will think about the world I live in and the people I surround myself with. I will not dwell on things that only serve to hurt myself. I will remember how I felt at graduation today, watching my friends take a step into a new life, and hold close to my heart what I know is truly important. I will tell more people that I love them. I will try not to be afraid to be in love. I will write. I will be thankful for what I have. I will eat pie. I will let it go. I will remember that I am a good person, and look for the good in others.

I will shag Seth Green.

Okay, maybe not. Kidding, hence the new paragraph. But if only...

I will write now.