effervescible | This is how a Twilight/Bleach fusion should REALLY go

So Ray and I got to talking about all the fics on ffnet that cast Rukia as Bella and Ichigo as Edward, and how they are dumb.

raynos:But don't you know that Bleach done Twilight style is all the fad?

jaina: A stupid fad

raynos: I've seen at least 3

jaina: Bella is like the anti-Rukia

raynos: I would think it's the other way around

raynos: RUKIA IS THE VAMP

raynos: Or you know

raynos: someone ought to do it with Bya/Renji

jaina: AHAHA I WOULD LOL SO MUCH WITH RUKIA AS EDWARD

raynos: YOU KNOW SHE SPARKLES

raynos: AND HA HA CARRYING ICHIGO AROUND

raynos: BECAUSE HE'S A KLUTZ

jaina: AHAHAHAHA

jaina: hell, she sparkles in canon

raynos: So does Byakuya

raynos: Maybe it's a KUCHIKI THING

jaina: must be

raynos: So yeah, VAMPIRES

jaina: and Ichigo being ~madly in love~

raynos: And Rukia wanting to eat him up cause he SMELLS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

jaina: I can't see her not wanting to bang him cuz they're not married

jaina: WAIT WE NEED TO CAST THE REST OF THE CULLENS

raynos: BUT SHE THINKS SHE'S A MONSTER

raynos: THAT MIGHT BE REASON ENOUGH

raynos: I dunno who to cast as the married older brother

raynos: Or Alice

jaina: Esme and Carlisle = Unohana and Ukitake

raynos:XDXDXDXD

raynos: Why?

jaina: Mom and dad!

raynos: Hee hee

raynos: But where does Byakuya fit in then?

jaina: he doesn't necessarily have to, this is crack

jaina: who's a bitchy girl to be Rosalie?

raynos: One of the Arrancars

raynos: But if you want Bitchy but sekritly nice, Soi Fong?

jaina: Yes! And Yoruichi can be Jasper.

jaina: Because I don't think we can give Soi Fong a boyfriend.

raynos: Hee hee yes

raynos: Until it's Oomaeda

raynos: for lulz

jaina: Orihime and Ishida as Alice and Emmett? Or maybe I mixed up Emmett and Jasper...fuck it, I don't care, as whoever is left.

jaina: Because Alice is nice and a little wacky

jaina: ...Renji as the werewolf best friend who's actually madly in love with Ichigo

raynos: HA HA HA HA

raynos: ISHIDA AS RUKIA'S OLDER BROTHER I LIKE

raynos: But Emmett isn't prissy :0

raynos: I like Orihime as Alice!

raynos: AND YES RENJI =D

jaina: HE YEARNS TO LOVE ICHIGO~

jaina: ...GRIMMJOW IS JAMES, THE VAMPIRE FROM THE FIRST BOOK WHO WANTS TO KILL/NOM ON ICHIGO'S BLOOD

raynos: OMG

raynos: HEE HEE

raynos: IT ACTUALLY MAKES MORE SENSE WITH ICHIGO

raynos: SO MANY CREEPY STALKERS

jaina: IT REALLY, REALLY DOES

raynos: (THOUGH KENPACHI COULD FIT TOO)

jaina: BECAUSE HIS BLOOD TASTES LIKE STRAWBERRIES

raynos: *ROLLS*

raynos: AND HE SMELLS OF STRAWBERRIES

jaina: SO IT'S VERY HARD FOR RUKIA TO NOT JUST EAT HIM

raynos: BECAUSE SHE LIKES STRAWBERRIES

jaina: APPARENTLY

jaina: So...so what happens when Rukia knocks him up?

raynos: HA HA HA HA

raynos: BECAUSE IT'S A VAMPIRE BABY HE ENDS UP HAVING IT?

raynos: ... I'd like to see that actually

raynos: Ichigo: WTF

jaina: HE DOES NOT APPROVE

raynos: OF COURSE NOT

raynos: IT'S AN ALIEN PREGNANCY XDXDXD

jaina: What do they name the baby?

raynos: I don't even know what they named it in the book

jaina: Renesmee

raynos: HA HA HA HA HA

jaina: after their mothers. Renee + Esme.

raynos: Well, obviously they must name the kid Unoki

raynos: Or Masahana

jaina: Oh god

This is how a Twilight/Bleach fusion should REALLY go

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