"wtf is wrong with us?"

[effervescible]

YES, TIME FOR EVEN MORE CHAT. God. Something in the air tonight.

scathachdhu: I almost wanna go find that domestic violence fic

jainax: OH MAN
jainax: I just had a terrible idea

scathachdhu: uh oh

jainax: A fic where Ichigo has an intervention with Renji.
"Renji...don't lie to me anymore. I'm your friend. I know Rukia's hitting you."

scathachdhu: XD XD
scathachdhu: "Shut up, dammit! I keep telling you I fell!"

jainax: "Onto doorknobs? Every day?"

scathachdhu: "SHUT UP SHE LOVES MEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee"

jainax: "No, Renji. You deserve better than this."
*door slams* "Oh god, she's here! You have to leave!"
jainax: "No." *firm shoulder clasp* "I'm not leaving. We're leaving."

scathachdhu: "For God's sake man, LOOK AT YOUR FACE!"

jainax: "YOU GOT THE TATTOOS TO COVER UP THE BRUISES. I KNOW IT'S TRUE."

scathachdhu: And Rukia stumbles in all drunk and smelling like the 3rd division.
scathachdhu: YES, ALL OF THEM

jainax: In a wifebeater top and hakama
jainax: "RENJI! WHERE'S MY SANDWICH, BITCH?"

scathachdhu: Renji whimpers and grabs Ichigo's hand

jainax: A dish smashes in the other room.

scathachdhu: "RENJIIIIIIIIII! WHY AREN'T THESE SANDWICHES SHAPED LIKE CHAPPY LIKE I TOLD YOU?"
scathachdhu: "FAT UGLY BITCH"

jainax: *slurs* "IMMA DANCE SHIRAYUKI ALL OVER YOUR ASS AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE IS REAL"

scathachdhu: "THAT OUGHTA LEARN YA"

jainax: "Renji, can't you see? YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS," Ichigo pleads.

scathachdhu: "But, I...I..." he sniffs, flinching as Rukia bellows for dinner in the other room.

jainax: "She doesn't really love you!"

scathachdhu: "YES SHE DOES!" Renji shrieks, yanking his hand from Ichigo's grasp.

jainax: "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! SHE WAS RIGHT! SHE SAID PEOPLE WOULD TRY TO KEEP US APART!"

scathachdhu: "Renji, that is not love!" Ichigo grabbed his friend and forced him to look in the mirror. "LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING FACE! LOOK WHAT THAT BITCH HAS DONE TO YOU!"

jainax: "She said they're marks of love! They help me learn! I HAVE TO LEARN!" Renji shrieks.

scathachdhu: "That oughta learn ya..." Rukia slurred, having passed out face down on the kitchen table.

jainax: Ichigo sighed and reluctantly left, shaking his head at the shivering, balled-up Renji and the sleeping beast on the table. He wasn't ready to leave yet. But when he was...Ichigo would be there for him.

I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?

Comments

[loveotter.livejournal.com]

Rukia for President, 2008!

[jaina.livejournal.com]

XD I think you have the wrong entry?

Surely her drinking and domestic abuse would keep her from being elected.

[scathachdhu.livejournal.com]

Nnnnnah...you'd be surprised.

[loveotter.livejournal.com]

Yeah okay listen, I would vote deadbeat drunk abuser Rukia over our current administration anyday. XD

[kumagoro-usagi.livejournal.com]

I just fell over laughing. Your chat conversations are always cracktastic. ^__^

[jaina.livejournal.com]

I think someone has laced the water in my house with crack. That's the only explanation.

[covet.livejournal.com]

Of course, she beats on Ichigo too. But he likes it.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Oh, of course. That's totally different. With him, she uses the whip.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

THAT WOULD BE LOLARIOUS