This is slightly hysterical

[effervescible]

The meme: Use Word's auto-summary function to compress your fic to 100 words or less.

The results (and no, I couldn't do just one, it's too fun):

Hair of the Dog
Renji could relate. Renji had wondered.

Renji glared.

“Whatever,” Renji said.

Renji grunted.

“Like to, yeah,” Renji said.

Renji raised and eyebrow.

Renji stared.
“Don’t start, Urahara.

Renji glared. Urahara shrugged. “Nothing doing, Urahara. Renji whispered.
Renji blinked. Urahara announced cheerily. Renji barked.

Renji grunted. Urahara tilted his hat towards Renji.

Renji glared.


“Tough love,” Urahara supplied.

“RIGHT!

“Thass all right,” Renji slurred.

Renji slid his glass over to Urahara. “Right. Fine.
“Forget it,” Renji interrupted. FINE!” “Renji?”

Rukia’s voice.
“You are drunk,” Rukia said. Ichigo grinned. “Really, Renji, it’s undignified.

Renji shrugged. “Yeah, Ichigo.

“`m fine,” Renji grunted.


Cherrypicked

“Ichigo…”

“Ah…yeah…”

“Ichigo…”

“Mmm…”

“Ichigo, that’s a hollow.”

“So?”

“Ichigo!

“Ichigo!”

“What?

“Ichigo. “Rukia.”

“What?”

Ichigo blinked. “What?”“Rukia.

“If you say so.” “Let’s have sex, Ichigo.
“Oi oi ICHIGO!”

“Right.” Ichigo scowled.

Ichigo glared. “Oi, Rukia!”Ichigo could deal.

“Right.

“Right.”

“Yes,” Rukia said.
“Ichigo!”

Ichigo shrugged.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow.
“Ichigo!” Ichigo rolled his eyes.
“Ichigo? “It’s about duty, Ichigo.”

“Ichigo.” “Right.”
“It’s all right, Ichigo.” “Rukia—“

“I’ll be right back!” “Rukia? “Rukia?”“Ichigo…”

“I suck.” If it bothers you.” “Kuchiki Rukia.”

“Wait, wait,” Ichigo said.
Ichigo stared. Ichigo gaped at her. “It’s all right, Ichigo.


Dead Ichigo

Ichigo died.

“Welcome, Ichigo.” Oi, Ichigo!” Ichigo smirked. “Ichigo!”

Ichigo gaped.

“Ichigo…”

Ichigo shrugged. Ichigo shrugged. “Rukia?” “Rukia…”

“Ichigo!” “Rukia!” “Rukia?” Rukia!” Rukia!”

“Ichigo. “Ichigo…”

“Ichigo.” Ichigo frowned. Ichigo shrugged. Ichigo smiled. “CAPTAIN!” Ichigo grinned. Ichigo blinked. Rukia?” “Ichigo! “Ichigo.” Ichigo sighed. Rukia.

“Rukia…”

“Ichigo?”

“Ichigo. Ichigo grinned. “Rukia? Ichigo glared. “Rukia. “ICHIGO!” “Ichigo! “RUKIA!”

“Rukia—“

“Rukia?”

“Ichigo.” “Rukia…” “Rukia.” “Ichigo.” Ichigo frowned. Ichigo tensed. “Ichigo.” “Rukia.”

“Ichigo.”

Ichigo! “Ichigo—“

“Ichigo.”

“Rukia…” “Rukia…” “Ichigo…”

“Rukia…” “Rukia.” “Rukia. Rukia.”

“Ichigo.” “Ichigo. “Rukia. “Rukia?”

“Rukia?”

Ichigo sighed. Ichigo frowned. “Rukia?” “Ichigo.” Ichigo shrugged. “Ichigo.”

“Rukia?” “Ichigo!” Ichigo blinked. “Ichigo—“

“Ichigo!


I haven't actually posted Dead Ichigo yet. Gosh, I hope this doesn't spoil the plot.

Comments

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

That third one made me laugh so hard, my side hurts.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Yay! I'm glad. I LOLed a lot too. BUT DONNA, NOW YOU WON'T WANT TO READ IT WHEN I POST BECAUSE YOU'VE SEEN THE WHOLE SUMMARY.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I was going to do this, but none of mine are coming out quite this good.

That last is so John and Marsha it's cracking me up.

[chaosblue.livejournal.com]

Dead Ichigo reminded me of a particularly BAD episode of Fushigi Yuugi. XD

[starvinbohemian.livejournal.com]

The plot of Dead Ichigo is so spoiled if you wrote a fic entirely centered around their tendency to stutter each other's names over and over again for no apparent reason. Or, if it's an overenthusiastic porn. ;)

You are planning to post it, YES? *Wibble*

[sailormac.livejournal.com]

The last one WINS. Reminiscent of --

"INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!" "INU YASHA!" "KAGOME!"

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Some of mine were kinda ehhh too, so I just picked out the funny ones.

John and Marsha?

[jaina.livejournal.com]

That's TOTALLY what I thought of when I saw the summary.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

LOL. There's porn in it, but it's not quite THAT enthusiastic. I am guessing that the algorithm chose the most frequently repeated words, assuming they were more important. And in 125 pages, there's a lot of name-using.

Yes, of course I will1 *makes note to kick beta*

I have to say, I think this bit--
Ichigo grinned. Ichigo blinked. Rukia?” “Ichigo! “Ichigo.” Ichigo sighed. Rukia.

--seems to more or less sum up their entire relationship.

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Totally. I about choked when I saw it.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

It's an old Stan Freberg comedy routine, with two people saying nothing but "John" and Marsha" to each other in loving/weepy/sexy ways. Some people thought it was really offensive at the time... I think it's still pretty funny after all these years.

[emiweebee.livejournal.com]

Ahahahhahahahahahahahaha.

[meghatron.livejournal.com]

LMAO. OMFG.

[ina-noranaya.livejournal.com]

I are thoroughly killed dead too, by that last one. (Gosh, I fail at netspeak.) Ichigo. *cracks up*

[jaina.livejournal.com]

The thing was FAR too amusing. And sort of accurate at the same time.