Jaina (
effervescible) wrote2005-10-30 11:06 am
Entry tags:
Childhood fears
I was reading an old message board thread about this subject and thinking how these fears seem so funny now but were so damn creepy back then (and are still a little creepy, admit it). These were mine:
It's all very amusing now but I can still kind of feel the chills going up and down my back at the memory of how it felt then. So how about you guys? What were you afraid of?
- "Broken" toilets. You know, those industrial ones where the toilet seat didn't meet in the middle front, usually black, often seen in schools and older rest stops and such? Yeah, those. I was terrified of them and would refuse to sit on them to pee. I'd rather have held it in, and you who know me in real life know that that isn't something I like to do ever.
I'm not sure exactly what I thought they would do to me, but I know exactly how it started: years later, Mom told me that when I was very small, we went to some rest stop bathroom that had lots of toilets and was very loud with all the flushing. It started after that. I eventually got over it by sitting sideways on the seat until I couldn't be arsed to bother anymore. Mom suggested I "practice" at home (on the good toilet) so I'd be ready. I think this was when I first went to school, actually. She must've not wanted me to be a screaming freak. - Volcanoes. No, I wasn't scared of them popping up under me (in Ohio?). I was scared of going on vacation to Hawaii, because apparently volcanoes erupted there all the time. Note: we never vacationoed in Hawaii, nor did we have plans to do so.
- Kidnappers/the ominous "they." I was scared someone would come take me away in the middle of the night, so I slept with lots of stuffed animals and dolls, the reasoning being that if I sat very still they would think I was a doll, too, and not bother. I also practiced lying very still so robbers (not to be confused with kidnappers) would see that I was deeply asleep and not do anything bad to me as they ransacked the house.
It's all very amusing now but I can still kind of feel the chills going up and down my back at the memory of how it felt then. So how about you guys? What were you afraid of?

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I figured out eventually that this was a subconscious memory of when I was two years old and fell into a swimming pool and nearly drowned. Since then, I've not had so many problems. Figuring out why you're afraid is the best cure for fear, I've found.
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Oh, and the shower curtain. Yep, I do pull it back. Still.
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My dad says that when I was really little (like 1-2), I was afraid of grass. I was weird.
OOH, I know! I used to hate it if I was in the car with my dad, and he would put it in park to step out to get something. I would scream bloody murder. I really thought the car would just go rolling into the street with me in it.
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Thunderstorms were another biggie. They still make me nervous.
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Also, insects/slugs scare the crap out of me still. Anything involving creepy crawly things is a big no-no. Except for snakes. Snakes are okay. Unless it's an anaconda or poisonous.
Other people in the public restrooms at the same time. Eww.
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I still have a little residual fear about that. Logically, I can debunk it, but something still hangs on in my brain.
Also, as a kid, my parents had a HUGE custody battle, so I was always convinced my dad was going to kidnap me. Wasn't such a far-fetched fear, but my 6-year-old brain probably inflated it way beyond what was necessary :)
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I was also afraid of windows for the longest time. This had to do with the book "Miss Nelson Is Back" that was read on Reading Rainbow... the face silhouetted in the frosted window, the door opening and the ugly witch standing there. I would have nightmares about faces being silhouetted in windows. Once, my dad came home one night and didn't have the key so he knocked on the door, I looked out the window and he was making a face against the glass. Scared the living hell out of me -- I gave the glass a mighty smack [thank God it didn't break] and got in SO much trouble, but that was CRUEL.
Also? My dad's gun. I don't know what the hell I was afraid of... that it would get up and fire itself? I didn't like knowing it was there, and I REALLY didn't like when I was home alone with it. If my parents went out of town [this was when I was a teenager, of course], even on a day trip, my dad would leave the gun on my desk or otherwise in easy reach and as soon as they left, I'd take it into another room and leave it there.
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It started inncocently enough with a typical fascinatio with the unknown, but soon me and my best friend spent had read all the school library's books on aliens, UFOs, and moved on to bigfoot and other assorted paranormal phenom. So I then cleaned out the public and university library's books on aliens. All by the age of 7.
So, I scarred myself, always afraid that there was an alien face peering through my window at night. I literally couldnt close my eyes until about age 10 without seeing that damned big-eye little mouthed face of a Grey. I didn't watch the first few eps of the X-Files (I was 12) because I thought it was be constant encounters with aliens and even seeing one would freak me out all night. Hell, I still refused to watch the opening of the X-Files for the first year because I thought that screaming face was an alien face and it would get me all keyed up.