effervescible | Childhood fears

I was reading an old message board thread about this subject and thinking how these fears seem so funny now but were so damn creepy back then (and are still a little creepy, admit it). These were mine:

"Broken" toilets. You know, those industrial ones where the toilet seat didn't meet in the middle front, usually black, often seen in schools and older rest stops and such? Yeah, those. I was terrified of them and would refuse to sit on them to pee. I'd rather have held it in, and you who know me in real life know that that isn't something I like to do ever.

I'm not sure exactly what I thought they would do to me, but I know exactly how it started: years later, Mom told me that when I was very small, we went to some rest stop bathroom that had lots of toilets and was very loud with all the flushing. It started after that. I eventually got over it by sitting sideways on the seat until I couldn't be arsed to bother anymore. Mom suggested I "practice" at home (on the good toilet) so I'd be ready. I think this was when I first went to school, actually. She must've not wanted me to be a screaming freak.

Volcanoes. No, I wasn't scared of them popping up under me (in Ohio?). I was scared of going on vacation to Hawaii, because apparently volcanoes erupted there all the time. Note: we never vacationoed in Hawaii, nor did we have plans to do so.

Kidnappers/the ominous "they." I was scared someone would come take me away in the middle of the night, so I slept with lots of stuffed animals and dolls, the reasoning being that if I sat very still they would think I was a doll, too, and not bother. I also practiced lying very still so robbers (not to be confused with kidnappers) would see that I was deeply asleep and not do anything bad to me as they ransacked the house.

It's all very amusing now but I can still kind of feel the chills going up and down my back at the memory of how it felt then. So how about you guys? What were you afraid of?

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Deep water. I was terrified of deep water for years, particularly if I couldn't see the bottom (like rivers and lakes). Often Id be swimming and be hit with a wave of panic and would have to make for the side of the pool, or get out of the lake, as fast as I could.

I figured out eventually that this was a subconscious memory of when I was two years old and fell into a swimming pool and nearly drowned. Since then, I've not had so many problems. Figuring out why you're afraid is the best cure for fear, I've found.

I still sometimes pull back a closed shower curtain before I'll sit down on the toilet, in case someone is there. Someone like Jason or Freddie. ;-P

I was terrified of going to sleep if I was alone in the house. I'd wait for my parents to get back from going out before falling asleep. My mom wouldn't let me stay home alone until I was at least 12, so it's not even a childhood thing. But the really embarrassing part is that I still don't like going to sleep when I'm alone in the house, and so I leave lights on in strategic places around the apartment.

Oh, and the shower curtain. Yep, I do pull it back. Still.

That toilet thing is funny. I've never heard of a kid being afraid of a toilet seat XD.

My dad says that when I was really little (like 1-2), I was afraid of grass. I was weird.

OOH, I know! I used to hate it if I was in the car with my dad, and he would put it in park to step out to get something. I would scream bloody murder. I really thought the car would just go rolling into the street with me in it.

I was afraid of arrows - there was some segment on Sesame Street where arrows came up from the bottom of the screen, and it scared the bejesus out of me.

Thunderstorms were another biggie. They still make me nervous.

Changing in front of anyone. Even other girls. I thought it was taboo to look at anyone naked. Even when we shared the same anatomy.

Also, insects/slugs scare the crap out of me still. Anything involving creepy crawly things is a big no-no. Except for snakes. Snakes are okay. Unless it's an anaconda or poisonous.

Other people in the public restrooms at the same time. Eww.

Bedtime was and is my biggest fear. As I kid I was convinced that if something happened, I'd be the only one awake and I'd die. I used to listen to the radio as reassurance that someone else was awake.

I still have a little residual fear about that. Logically, I can debunk it, but something still hangs on in my brain.

Also, as a kid, my parents had a HUGE custody battle, so I was always convinced my dad was going to kidnap me. Wasn't such a far-fetched fear, but my 6-year-old brain probably inflated it way beyond what was necessary :)

I hated answering/talking on the phone and still do. In fact...I really won't answer it unless I know who it is, to this day. I really don't know why.

My sister's old Barbie dolls. I thought they were diseased, and the only way I would touch them was by pinching the tips of their hair between my fingernails.

Millipedes and power lines. Specifically. Not centipedes, and not electricity: millipedes and power lines. I was broken of the millipede fear around age 22 (...) when my then-SO was like "Huh. That's kinda phallic, isn't it. Since you only fear millipedes and not centipedes" and I was like "wtf stfu" and then went off and thought about it and was too embarrassed to fear the damn things again. *breath*

I was afraid that Something Would Happen and I'd be the only one awake or the only one around. We lived out in the country -- we had neighbors, right across the street, but they weren't close enough [and they went to bed early] to hear if someone yelled. I'm not over that one at all... this is actually part of the reason why I really, really strongly prefer living with roommates in an apartment in a crowded urban area than any other possible living arrangement.

I was also afraid of windows for the longest time. This had to do with the book "Miss Nelson Is Back" that was read on Reading Rainbow... the face silhouetted in the frosted window, the door opening and the ugly witch standing there. I would have nightmares about faces being silhouetted in windows. Once, my dad came home one night and didn't have the key so he knocked on the door, I looked out the window and he was making a face against the glass. Scared the living hell out of me -- I gave the glass a mighty smack [thank God it didn't break] and got in SO much trouble, but that was CRUEL.

Also? My dad's gun. I don't know what the hell I was afraid of... that it would get up and fire itself? I didn't like knowing it was there, and I REALLY didn't like when I was home alone with it. If my parents went out of town [this was when I was a teenager, of course], even on a day trip, my dad would leave the gun on my desk or otherwise in easy reach and as soon as they left, I'd take it into another room and leave it there.

The ominous 'they' for me was a robber with a very long knife. But yes, yes, yes.

Aliens. Aliens and Alien Abduction.

It started inncocently enough with a typical fascinatio with the unknown, but soon me and my best friend spent had read all the school library's books on aliens, UFOs, and moved on to bigfoot and other assorted paranormal phenom. So I then cleaned out the public and university library's books on aliens. All by the age of 7.

So, I scarred myself, always afraid that there was an alien face peering through my window at night. I literally couldnt close my eyes until about age 10 without seeing that damned big-eye little mouthed face of a Grey. I didn't watch the first few eps of the X-Files (I was 12) because I thought it was be constant encounters with aliens and even seeing one would freak me out all night. Hell, I still refused to watch the opening of the X-Files for the first year because I thought that screaming face was an alien face and it would get me all keyed up.

Childhood fears

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