Jaina (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
effervescible) wrote2005-10-11 03:56 pm
effervescible) wrote2005-10-11 03:56 pm
Entry tags:
Just some character thoughts
Obligatory work prattle: I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I wish it paid a little bit better but: I love my job.
I was thinking about various characters and their interpretations in fanworks the other day while driving (I have a LOT of time to think while driving). I always think of things to post about while I drive but I never do. I need to change that, so: some Meryl reflection, because my fickle fannish brain has jumped back to Trigun this week. I think Bleach is next, but anyway, some thoughts on Meryl.
I remember reading somewhere...actually probably in multiple places but I don't really remember...that some people consider Meryl to be kind of a repressed person. On its face, this idea isn't crazy; she does hold her emotions in a lot. (This is also probably why some people think my better thirds and I are just making her a dirty fucktoy in our fic, making her do something repressed people wouldn't do.) But I got to thinking about it and, shock of shocks, I think it's not that simple.
I think Meryl gets the "repressed" label because she seems so wigged out by the idea of having romantic feelings for Vash, and does her best to (metaphorically) stick her fingers in her ears, singing "lalalalala I can't hear you." I don't think it's the idea of romantic feelings or their strength that wig her out, though; I think it's because they're for Vash.
Meryl has a lot of passion for other things in her life; she obviously puts a ton of herself into her job. Looking how excited she gets about finally finding Vash, how determined she is to return to the fat guy she thinks is him even when there's a real danger of getting shot (or worse). Hell, look at the way she acts when Vash pisses her off. She has no trouble expressing her feelings then, and doesn't really care that slugging him isn't the socially proper thing to do, for all her ladylike habits. When Meryl feels something strongly, she does what she wants; pretense goes out the door. This is one of the reasons I write her the way I do, as I feel that habit could extend to to her bedroom habits. (Plus, I admit, the bar sex thing was just fun.) She's most ladylike and prim when calm and in control rather than going with her gut reaction.
An argument could be made that she's just repressed romantically because of the way she reacts to her feelings for Vash, but again, I'm not so much on this train. The very nature of her job makes him Off Limits. He also does her the disservice of being nothing like she expected him to be. It's not the feelings that fuck with her, it's who they're directed at. Coincidentally, she seems much more at ease with the way she feels later in the series, even if she can't voice them. So in my view, she's nothing like repressed, she's just very thrown by emotions she cannot categorize, but once she gets used to them, she seems pretty normal, neither repressed nor overly demonstrative.
That's one of the things I like about our girls Milly and Meryl--they have their special traits, but for the most part they're pretty normal. And that's why I feel comfortable writing her the way I do. Normal, non-repressed non-nympo people have had Bad Idea Comfort Sex--Cold Comfort. They've had spontaneous first time sex with someone they cared for--AWID. They've had a fit of capriciousness and done it in weird places--Daily Speci--okay, I admit that one is a little farther to the right on my fandom bell curve (and that's another thing I need to write about) but I still see it being within the range of possibility. And since all of these fics happen independently of one another, you could call me a h0r, but not my version of Meryl. She's a normal person faced with extraordinary circumstances. I dig that.
I guess this did end up being a little bit of a fic defense, but it's not meant to be a Let's Rumble, Bitches *Clicks Brass Knuckles Together*. I just felt like writing some Character X The Way I See It. I'm going to try to do more of it in the future cuz hey, fun.
I was thinking about various characters and their interpretations in fanworks the other day while driving (I have a LOT of time to think while driving). I always think of things to post about while I drive but I never do. I need to change that, so: some Meryl reflection, because my fickle fannish brain has jumped back to Trigun this week. I think Bleach is next, but anyway, some thoughts on Meryl.
I remember reading somewhere...actually probably in multiple places but I don't really remember...that some people consider Meryl to be kind of a repressed person. On its face, this idea isn't crazy; she does hold her emotions in a lot. (This is also probably why some people think my better thirds and I are just making her a dirty fucktoy in our fic, making her do something repressed people wouldn't do.) But I got to thinking about it and, shock of shocks, I think it's not that simple.
I think Meryl gets the "repressed" label because she seems so wigged out by the idea of having romantic feelings for Vash, and does her best to (metaphorically) stick her fingers in her ears, singing "lalalalala I can't hear you." I don't think it's the idea of romantic feelings or their strength that wig her out, though; I think it's because they're for Vash.
Meryl has a lot of passion for other things in her life; she obviously puts a ton of herself into her job. Looking how excited she gets about finally finding Vash, how determined she is to return to the fat guy she thinks is him even when there's a real danger of getting shot (or worse). Hell, look at the way she acts when Vash pisses her off. She has no trouble expressing her feelings then, and doesn't really care that slugging him isn't the socially proper thing to do, for all her ladylike habits. When Meryl feels something strongly, she does what she wants; pretense goes out the door. This is one of the reasons I write her the way I do, as I feel that habit could extend to to her bedroom habits. (Plus, I admit, the bar sex thing was just fun.) She's most ladylike and prim when calm and in control rather than going with her gut reaction.
An argument could be made that she's just repressed romantically because of the way she reacts to her feelings for Vash, but again, I'm not so much on this train. The very nature of her job makes him Off Limits. He also does her the disservice of being nothing like she expected him to be. It's not the feelings that fuck with her, it's who they're directed at. Coincidentally, she seems much more at ease with the way she feels later in the series, even if she can't voice them. So in my view, she's nothing like repressed, she's just very thrown by emotions she cannot categorize, but once she gets used to them, she seems pretty normal, neither repressed nor overly demonstrative.
That's one of the things I like about our girls Milly and Meryl--they have their special traits, but for the most part they're pretty normal. And that's why I feel comfortable writing her the way I do. Normal, non-repressed non-nympo people have had Bad Idea Comfort Sex--Cold Comfort. They've had spontaneous first time sex with someone they cared for--AWID. They've had a fit of capriciousness and done it in weird places--Daily Speci--okay, I admit that one is a little farther to the right on my fandom bell curve (and that's another thing I need to write about) but I still see it being within the range of possibility. And since all of these fics happen independently of one another, you could call me a h0r, but not my version of Meryl. She's a normal person faced with extraordinary circumstances. I dig that.
I guess this did end up being a little bit of a fic defense, but it's not meant to be a Let's Rumble, Bitches *Clicks Brass Knuckles Together*. I just felt like writing some Character X The Way I See It. I'm going to try to do more of it in the future cuz hey, fun.
no subject
Yes, she allows herself to angry over superficial things but mostly she just keeps going, doing whatever she has to do, and not grandstanding about it. And she seems especially careful that her emotions not interfere with her job, as she even got to the point of pulling a gun on Vash. (Though, granted, the situation has changed greatly by the end of the series.)
That said, I don't think people like that don't fall in love, or that they don't enjoy sex, or even don't enjoy sex in odd places and circumstances, especially if they're with someone they trust.
no subject
As for Daily Special (which is a fun fic), I don't think it's totally out there considering it was based on the assumption that she and Vash already had an established relationship. If it had been their first time and they did it on a bar, I would say "probably not". But once people get comfortable around each other, who knows what could happen?
Character analysis = fun!
no subject
no subject
no subject