I am sodden and have a quandary

[effervescible]

Technically speaking, I am no longer sodden, but I sure as hell looked like a drowned rat earlier today. This morning, when I left the apartment, the sky was perfectly clear. Well, there were clouds, but nothing that resembled rain clouds. Thus, I did not think to bring an umbrella with me.

Stupid incognito rain clouds.

It has been raining all damn day, with maybe a ten minute break in which I was lucky enough to snap a few pictures for this week's assignment. The rest of the time? Water, water everywhere. SO MUCH OF IT. To put it in terms that Discworld fans might understand: this wasn't just rain, this was The Wet. Oh, and did I mention that I had to bike uptown, and later home? I was soaked through. It sucked a whole hella lot. I also got wet several times throughout the day when I ventured outside between classes--but because it was Tuesday, I couldn't go home and get an umbrella. Too busy. Also, it's very difficult to hold an umbrella while steering a bike, so it would've been fairly useless to me.

I was a sad, wet Angie. Lasagna at Good Joe's apartment helped, as did me accidentally perving myself by stating loudly that earlier, I had been in my underwear "while completely wet." (Because the phone rang as I was changing and I thought it might be important. It was all perfectly innocent.)

sarcasticval and I are. In any case, while I usually just delete Carole's e-mail forwards, tonight I opened one and read this:

A first grade teacher explained to her class that she was a liberal
Democrat. She then asked her students to raise their hands if they were
liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat
was, but wanting to please their teacher, hands exploded into the air
like fleshy fireworks.

There was, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone
along with the crowd. The teacher asked Lucy why she decided to be
different.

"Because I'm not a liberal Democrat," Lucy said.
The teacher asked, "Then what are you?"

"I'm a proud conservative Republican" said the little girl.
The teacher, a little perturbed & red-faced, asked Lucy why she was a
conservative Republican?

Lucy proclaimed, "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself and
freedom, instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me
and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans,
and I am a conservative Republican too."

The teacher calmly pointed out, "That's no reason. What if your Mom
and Dad were both morons? What would you be then?"

Lucy answered, "Then, I'd be a liberal Democrat."

Um, I may not be a Democrat, but right now I identify with that party with that party much more than the Republicans, and I am also pretty darn liberal.

My question: do I say anything about this to Carole? I'm pretty sure she didn't mean anything by this. She sends all kinds of jokey forwards. Knowing her family, I wouldn't be surprised if she was a Republican, but everything I know about her tells me that she'd be more of a moderate. She's not an intolerant homophobe/fundie/whatever. (Not that all Republicans are, just making the distinction.) At the same time, I don't want this to become An Issue between us. I don't want her to worry that every time we talk or visit, I'm viewing her through the eyes of an Insulted Liberal. Honestly, it's not even that big a deal to me, because I'm pretty sure it wasn't one to her--she was just sending another joke on, not making a grand statement about her political views. But I'll admit that it does bother me some, and I doubt she'd want to inadvertantly insult me. Keeping quiet doesn't help either of us--but again, I don't want to make things awkward. And if I do say something--how? Just a light "btw, I'm a liberal, not so funny" e-mail? Calmly explain that it's not a big deal, but I'd appreciate not getting forwards like that from now on?

I don't know. I don't want weirdness, but I kind of feel like I'm lying if I don't say anything. (Even though she knows that I delete a lot of forwards without reading.) So I throw this to the collective wisdom of lj--any suggestions? Have any of you ever dealt with this kind of thing before? Any tips on how I should? I'd really appreciate your thoughts, because right now I'm kind of stuck.

Comments

[greyvorfeed.livejournal.com]

You've got two major options to choose from.

Option 1 - "Brutal but Honest". Tell her openly how you feel, and why you feel that way.

Advantages: It's straightforward, and maybe in the future she'll watch it with the insulting emails.

Disadvantages: If you take this route, chances are that she'll start to feel about the same way that you feel now, and you'll have this weird, mutual you're-not-quite-what-I-thought-you-were vibe going on.

Option 2 - "Passive but Forgiving" Suck it up, and don't say a word. Variations on this one do, however, include anonymous and/or second-hand complaints. ^__^

Advantages: This one carries very little risk of harming your friendship.

Disadvantages: She's not likely to change her behavior if you don't tell her to, because she probably doesn't see a problem with it. Plus, possible guilty angst over lying on your part.

Me, I generally decide these things by how close a friend I am with the person in question. If it were one of my best friends, it's all about option number 1. Close friends usually know each other well enough to tolerate "don't do that" advice, and the already-close relationship will usually be enough to ward off that previously mentioned mutual vibe. I'm guessing you're not too close to her, though, since she doesn't know (or care about) your political affiliation. In this case, the only thing to decide is whether or not you're willing to take the chance of possibly losing her as a friend. If so, be honest and go with option number 1, knowing that you're leaving the fate of the friendship to her, because she might trip out or become distant. If you're sure you want to keep her as a friend at all costs, take one for the team with option number 2. I guess it all comes down to which you think is more important - honesty, or this particular friendship.

If something is really bothering me, I tend to go with the Brutally Honest approach most of the time (outside of work, that is; work is a place in which minor complaints should almost always be avoided). Then again, I've always been of the opinion that if a friendship fails, one of the friends probably wasn't really all that interested, anyway. If the uninterested party isn't you, know the sting of rejection, and the pain of living. If it is you, then why should you be all that upset, anyway?

Cold, I know, but very, very true.

[musicwench.livejournal.com]

naw man, you've got more than two options - one of them is to address the matter LIGHTLY - since you're not hurt, insulted, and furious, why make it a THANG? But you ought to say something, after all.

My response would be something maybe teasing (If i could think of anything) but definitely light-- a joke about republicans could MAYBE be in order, but also dangerous. But I'd go with the "dude, I'm liberal, not funny" or something even milder -- she's your sister in law, right? so an email asking how she's doing, you didn't know she was republican, that's interesting because you're not, blahbiddy blah.

Don't be BRUTAL, or passive, be extremely tactful. Or just say, "hey did you know I'm liberal? because you sent me this email and I wasn't sure if you were making fun of me, or just thought it was funny, and I've got a great republican joke if you want to hear it."

[greyvorfeed.livejournal.com]

naw man, you've got more than two options - one of them is to address the matter LIGHTLY - since you're not hurt, insulted, and furious, why make it a THANG? But you ought to say something, after all.

That's covered in option 1. I never said you needed to be a shit about it or anything, just that you need to be open and up-front with what you say. I didn't think I needed to say much about how exactly to go about mentioning it, since Jaina already said her strategy for talking about it would be low-key. ^___^

my $0.02

[cantspell.livejournal.com]

having been in situations like that previously, I find that unless it's something incredibly racist/homophobic/etc., it's best to just delete it and forget about it. If she says something about it or a related topic in person or via private email or IM, I might tell her how I feel...if she keeps sending the same kind of thing, I'd probably do that too, but if this is just an isolated incident it's probably better to just not pay any mind to it.

[qkellie.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm kinda in the camp of "let it go." I got a really sexist forwarded email at my last job from one of the bosses, but the whole office got it, and while I thought of making a big stink about it, I just deleted it and moved on. Sometimes it's just not worth it, and sometimes -- even if they disagree with the sentiment -- people who send those things around find them mildly funny in some warped way, so consider if it's really worth bringing it up. Chances are, she just got a giggle out of it, and wanted to share, not considering that some people get riled up about stuff.

[drcristin.livejournal.com]

i agree w/ musicwench.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

It's a stupid joke. I mean that in the "What? That was supposed to be funny?" way. Tell her as much next time you talk to her. This does not involve deep political discussion, then, and also, hey, maybe she'll stop sending you inbox-clogging forwards. :)

>^..^

[zarahemla.livejournal.com]

Just laugh. I mean, "fleshy fireworks"? Is that not the most amusing thing you've read in a long time? It makes me giggle just by looking at it.

It's not worth it to get into it with a coworker. You could even put a filter on her that blocks her if she doesn't send anything important.

[arafel.livejournal.com]

I saw this exact same joke, only it was "Redskins fan" instead of "liberal Democrats," the little girl was a Giants fan, and the "if your Mom and Dad were a crack whore and a pimp" replaced "morons," and the little girl said "I'd be an Eagles fan."

(er, and I did find it humorous in that form.)

Honestly, I'd ignore it, or at least tell her to knock off the political humor forwards to you. Talking about politics is one of the three fastest ways to ruin a friendship, the other two being sex and religion. I doubt she meant anything serious by it.

[perigune.livejournal.com]

I agree. Most people just blindly forward stuff without a. really reading it through, b. thinking about whether their recipients would enjoy it, or c. thinking about whether it's even appropriate to send in the first place.

Maybe just let this one go...and if she keeps sending you more forwards in the same vein, then casually bring it up.

[zelamenomiko.livejournal.com]

This is exactly why I ignore politics and don't send fowards of that type.

Good luck with whatever you decide!