Jaina (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
effervescible) wrote2003-02-08 09:56 am
effervescible) wrote2003-02-08 09:56 am
Entry tags:
Apartmente, Act I: Scene I
[VAL and JAINA step onstage. Dressed in rags, they carry only a battered suitcase each as well as a faded D doujinshi for VAL and a torn Knives wallscroll for JAINA]
JAINA: Comrades! Today is a very important day, for today we begin our quest for...a home.
[AUDIENCE gasps and begins whispering]
VAL: Yea, this may be a deadly quest, but it is one we are prepared to take. For with a home comes our own bathroom, a living room unsullied by other floormates, comfortable refrigerator space--
JAINA: Don't forget the corner nook for the anime character torture devices--
VAL: Um, "recreational spaces"...
[Suddenly, a clown runs onstage, throws a pie at our heroes, spattering their possessions slightly. He laughs and runs off stage left, whereupon JAINA pulls out a derringer and shoots him through the head.
VAL: Um...what was that?
JAINA: Comic relief. Our director was worried the production was too dour. So, he insisted on adding a clown.
VAL: And the gun?
JAINA: I don't like clowns.
[AUDIENCE titters]
JAINA: Lo, we must depart this place for the wild Greens of Bowling. We must search!
VAL: And be nosy!
JAINA: And question landlords!
VAL: And examine carpets for suspicious stains!
JAINA: Come, comrade. A perilous journey this will be, but we will take it. We will be brave. We will find...an apartment.
[JAINA and VAL stride bravely off stage left, stepping over the prone clown. AUDIENCE applauds. Roses and underwear are thrown]
JAINA: Comrades! Today is a very important day, for today we begin our quest for...a home.
[AUDIENCE gasps and begins whispering]
VAL: Yea, this may be a deadly quest, but it is one we are prepared to take. For with a home comes our own bathroom, a living room unsullied by other floormates, comfortable refrigerator space--
JAINA: Don't forget the corner nook for the anime character torture devices--
VAL: Um, "recreational spaces"...
[Suddenly, a clown runs onstage, throws a pie at our heroes, spattering their possessions slightly. He laughs and runs off stage left, whereupon JAINA pulls out a derringer and shoots him through the head.
VAL: Um...what was that?
JAINA: Comic relief. Our director was worried the production was too dour. So, he insisted on adding a clown.
VAL: And the gun?
JAINA: I don't like clowns.
[AUDIENCE titters]
JAINA: Lo, we must depart this place for the wild Greens of Bowling. We must search!
VAL: And be nosy!
JAINA: And question landlords!
VAL: And examine carpets for suspicious stains!
JAINA: Come, comrade. A perilous journey this will be, but we will take it. We will be brave. We will find...an apartment.
[JAINA and VAL stride bravely off stage left, stepping over the prone clown. AUDIENCE applauds. Roses and underwear are thrown]
G'luck
May you have a MUCH better apt. hunting experience than I did. But...
Bowling Green, Ohio? *laughs hysterically* You poor thing...
no subject
*cackles*
You poor, poor dears....